Luminous
by Vema
Summary: Crazy Space Incest warning. Simon reflects on how and why River is important to him, and how far he's willing to go for his little sister.


Luminous

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 _ **Let's try this a THIRD time. I'm not ashamed to say it was very late and I was shockingly inebriated when I posted this the last time, which lead to the misspelling of the title. AND SO VERY MUCH EMBARRASSMENT! -.-; SO, without further ado, here is a slightly modified version with a CORRECTLY SPELLED title. Apologies for the ridiculousness of my last attempted post.**_

 _ **Now, then, here is the actual story. Again, here is your INCEST WARNING, CSI to be specific. Don't read this if you're going to be squicked. The confusion with Simon and River, who make more sense to me as a couple than not, is that River is mentally ill and there will always be a question of consent there. Still, from my point of view, River would be the one convincing her brother, in her own special way, because she feels the same and now knows for sure that her feelings are returned since she can sense his thoughts.**_

 _ **With that in mind, please enjoy my fanfic, and remember to review.**_

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If Simon was honest, sometimes she scared him.

River was unpredictable, a jagged edge of sanity that ripped away at both of them. Still, despite her infirmities, it was easy to find his long lost genius sister among the random acts she committed. An intuitive observation that everyone else would have missed; a graceful twirl and a song; a particular expression in a particularly sane moment. Those times were a sweet release in the drudgery of their new life.

 _Two by two, everyone a match, a mate, a dopple. I love you._

These sinful thoughts had pervaded his consciousness as long as he could remember, relegated from unfeasible to unattainable after her unfortunate transformation. Yet, even as he wished for her peace, he saw more of her beauty coming out every day, bringing him joy and sorrow. She was burning bright, branding him as hers forever, though he'd never tell.

 _Oh, River, Mei-Mei, of course, I love you too, but... we_ can't _be married._

With the object of his affections suddenly able to read his every thought, he couldn't afford the kind of inappropriate fantasies he used to have. She seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, no matter how he tried to hide it. She was ever so much more intelligent than he was, so much brighter, so much better.

 _We're lost... lost in the woods._

It was clear to anyone that she was his world. He'd give his all for her, had already given it. He'd give his life for her, his dignity. He'd do anything.

River was worth it.

 _You gave up everything you had to find me, and you found me broken._

 _Mei-Mei, everything I have is right here._

She came to him in the night, all smooth skin and pink lips. Panic set in, and he pushed her away. " _Mei-Mei_ , I'm sorry," he sobbed, trying to push her back, "You don't have to do this..."

"Time has found you out." Her fingers skimmed his cheek, gentle eyes falling on his lips. "I have no desire to suffer twice... in reality and then in retrospect."

Her fingers danced up his torso to his jaw, eyes older than they had a right to be. "Please, _Bao-bei_..." he begged, resolve faltering.

Her breath made him shiver as she leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Pray for me if you like. I've forgotten all the words." River's fingers flowed up his skin, water falling over so many smoothed stones and flowing into his most secret places, causing his flesh to quiver and tighten.

 _She understands._

Simon closed his eyes and let her kiss him, trying to project that he didn't need it, that she didn't need to do this. "Oh, _Shangdi_..." he breathed, willing himself to pull away.

"Let me grant you your prayers." Her sweet breath ghosted over his cheek, petal soft lips brushing over his. "Mine are the same."

 _She doesn't comprehend._

He let her do what she wished; that was all he ever did. He couldn't help that his arms wrapped around her, his hand clutched her hip, and his tongue took her mouth. His hand held his cock while she sank onto it, and when she faltered he rose over her and surged into her until she was limp and smiling under him. He was Simon, and she was River, and they were more real than they ever had been.

She was his light, and he'd follow her forever.

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Quotes are taken respectfully from:

Oepdipus Rex

G. R. R. Martin, A Feast For Crows

Robert Fagles, "The Oedipus Cycle"


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